Would anyone love to explain the male psyche?
I’m sure most of you are aware that I spent the latter part of my college years and then another eternity after that (3.5 years total) dating this guy (Wes) who I eventually got engaged to, broke it off, lived together with the intent of getting engaged again, but overall really hated him. I was young and stupid. If you weren’t aware, there it is.
We pretty much ceased contact once we broke up. I remember 1.5 years afterward, I had just broken up with someone and felt really down and, honestly, with no intention of ever getting back with Wes, just emailed him to see if he was alive. I thought that after so much time, we could at least be civil. I mean, we went to the same college and our greek organizations were pretty much up each other’s asses at the time, so I figured we would run into one another eventually. The relationship that had just ended had given me time to reflect about my time with Wes and I was being all philosophical, anyway, and had never really gotten closure.
When he didn’t respond, I figured that was all the closure I had needed. It afforded me the opportunity to really put that horribleness behind me and move on. So I did. I dated a couple people that summer (at the same time, oops, so only one of them still talks to me… well, two) and eventually broke it off with all of them to be with Nick. It was one of those things where you realize every time you had said “I love you” before had just been a joke, because this time I really meant it.
Anyway, this Wes asshole used to bitch and moan about me being on social networking sites. MySpace was the first one and he really fucking hated it. My profile had been public, so I’d get all these crazy guys wanting me to marry them and just a ton of disgusting things. Wes pretty much thought I was on there to meet other guys, or make myself available to other guys, and we fought about it usually once a week. Looking back, I think maybe I was looking for other guys, or at least reaching out to the world that Wes wouldn’t let me otherwise associate with (let’s just say, I didn’t start seeing most of my friends again until after we broke up).
Recently, he joined MySpace. I can’t even remember when he did, but I saw through one of our mutual friends’ profiles he had joined. I wondered if he would friend me - he never did. And I’d rather be fucked up the ass sideways with a chainsaw than to put myself on blast by doing it first. Besides, I had no reason to. He had made it crystal clear to me what I meant to him in the end, so why bother?
Then a couple weeks ago, I saw he joined Facebook, courtesy of that really annoying “People you may know” tool. I really wish it would just die because it just brings back into my life people I’d rather forget.
Turns out, he started friending a bunch of my friends, mostly because some of them are dating his friends or whatever. My one friend, though, I’m shocked about, and I imagine they only talk because they’ve both sadly moved back to Williamsport and run into each other at the places we all go to relive our youths at Homecoming.
Anyway, that particular friend had a status message about having kegs and a Hannah Montana pinata at a party this past weekend. I’m in like with Disney Channel, so of course I commented on it. Something like, “Hellz yeah, Hannah, I knew we were friends for a reason!”
Guess who fucking left a comment after me. Fucking Wes. I got an email in my inbox yesterday morning that said, “Wesley Blahblahblah has replied to a comment you left.” Are you shitting me? Like really, you’ve got to be shitting me.
Not only was it written immediately after my comment, but it’s the only comment he’s made on her page, oh, ever. He had to know I’d find it. But being me, I tried to give him the benefit of the doubt (which usually bites me in the ass later, but I try to be a good person, really).
And then… I started getting messages from people. Granted, they were all making fun of Wes for so obviously commenting after me knowing I’d get a notification he’d responded, duh, but the consensus was the same: he’s trying to see what I’ll do, and at least make it known to me he’s on there.
Do guys really play these games? If he wants to friend me, he can. I really couldn’t care less. But I’m not about to because I’ve moved on and I just don’t think it’s appropriate at this point in my life to go out of my way and be like, “Oh, giggle, remember when we almost got married?”
Staci also told me she heard he’s going back to school to become a lawyer. Can I just tell you how glad I am that whole thing didn’t work out? He’s gone through like five career changes since I’ve known him. I’d have been a fucking nomad the rest of my life. Oh, and let’s not forget he’s now the chapter adviser for his college fraternity. He’s 28 years old or something like that. Omigod. We’d never settle down, he didn’t want kids… I’d be ripping my hair out.
But come on. Really? Grow up.
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